I hear from people contemplating divorce every day. I listen to stories people are told by friends and family, about what they should and shouldn’t do if they are getting divorced. People share what they have heard about a neighbor’s custody battle or a coworker’s alimony payment or how they were impacted personally by their own parents’ divorce.
The fear of the unknown, the weight of emotions, the amount of money at stake and the idea of sharing custody of your children are on every person’s mind who is thinking about divorce.
Your friends and family love you. While they may be well meaning, their feedback is not always helpful, useful or accurate. Instinctively, people who care about you want to protect you and arm you, to gear up for a fight.
The truth is, no two marriages are alike and no two divorces are alike either. In the hundreds of divorces I have been involved with, I have never seen two sets of identical circumstances. You and your spouse will be best served by meeting together, with someone who will talk to you about your specific circumstances.
Meeting with a neutral mediator who will educate you about the process and how you might navigate areas of disagreement, is a good first step. From there, you can choose your advisors and where to spend your money wisely. Why arm yourself for a battle when you may only need a conversation.
“The pen is mightier than the sword” – Edward Bulwer-Lytton 1839